THE SECRET

For some of you, you have known a life time. For others, including us, we have known only recently.

In the short time since Christmas, amongst a rollercoaster of emotions, we had the absolute pleasure of meeting Johnny. Corey’s biological Father.

Some people say it doesn’t change anything. And it doesnt, but it also does.

A secret doesn’t change the loving upbringing that Corey had and it doesn’t change who Dad or who Poppy will always be, but secrets do have a tendency to hurt.

In many ways and for many reasons too complex to note here, tremendous sacrifices were made. We have come to understand the sacrifices carried by three people (and a few others), who loved a baby boy and his siblings so much, it was guarded with life for 40 years.

Once you begin to find your way through the fog, discovering you are loved by an earthly father not once, but twice, is a difficult, but blessed destination to reach.

On the twenty second of December our world was turned upside down. In a way you never expect and can never really prepare for. Someone just started pulling threads out of a tapestry we spent a lifetime piecing together. Of course Corey more than I, and Jay and Nomes included. Suddenly, it seemed there were colours missing and many of the knots began to unravel.

However, in just eight short weeks I have witnessed Corey begin to pull almost the whole tapestry apart, and start to reassemble it again.

Did it hurt? Yes.

It is over? No.

Will it ever look the same? No.

But it will still be beautiful.

It’s often hard to understand why the masterpieces God creates looks so different to the one we always pictured it to be.

But only God is capable of weaving such circumstances together and still making them complete. In the eyes of the world, a family that should have fallen apart lasted a life time and a secret that was spoken in vengeance did not tear us apart.

I am so thankful for Corey. For all who helped form and shape him into the man he is today.  Especially to the father who knew Corey was Johnny’s but still chose to love him as his own, his mum who gave all she could to her family, and Johnny who loved him from afar.

In all of this, I don’t know of many who would have more concern for their Mum than themselves. As I have watched Corey process this, I always knew he was “above average”.  But now I know. And this time, I’m not talking about above average when it comes to height, sport, jobs or earthly possessions. I am talking about the things that matter most. Humility, kindness and unconditional love. It sounds a lot like GRACE to me. We all need grace. To give it, and receive it.

Grace. The only way to live. I am reading a book by Brené Brown about living whole heartedly. She describes in detail what is takes to live with a whole heart. She found that people who live the most fulfilling lives hold these attributes; vulnerability, JOY, gratitude, authenticity, courage, compassion, connection, worthiness, resilience, spirit and hope.

I have seen each of these in the last eight weeks in Corey. And they didn’t come overnight or by chance. They are the fruits that are cultivated over a lifetime of choice and faith. One moment at a time. And they are free to all of us.

It doesn’t mean it is easy, or that it is without pain, but the best testimonies are never preached, they are lived.

Life is short, and it is best lived with the end in mind.

The circumstances into which Corey was born may have been accident, but he is no accident. He is my husband, and I wouldn’t change him for the world.

Thank you to all our friends and family who have supported us, talked (a lot), and just as importantly, if not more, just listened.

Life is full of seasons and surprises. We don’t always know what tomorrow’s pictures will look like, but there is always hope. Sometimes we can see it for ourselves, and sometimes we need people who will remind us,….. there is always hope.

Joel and Hayley, Sam and Meghan, we really look forward to meeting you and your kids. Minnie, we look forward to seeing more of you. Nomes, you are loved. Jay and Abbey, missing you always.

Love Corey and Mel.